Every-time I have an unproductive day, I can just see my life flying out the window in a fading arrays of colors as the world passes by with every metaphorical tick of my digital clock. I go out and do something, I wish I was home. I stay at home, and I wish I was going out and doing something. I can't win. XD
Then the day's over, and the only place I can really go where no one will think I'm crazy for staying up so late is 7/11 or Walmart, otherwise known as Wally-world. (I don't know why, but I guess it's an old nickname for it.)
So, what's up, y'all? Life is good? No one's a zombie? Got school? Got college? Still living in Mom's basement?
I'll be heading to college soon. (I'd reveal the location, but it's a bit too close to home, and this is the internet. You people be cray-cray.)
No, I'm not pursuing an art degree. (Do you WANT me to get a job? Even my art teacher doesn't have a degree in art. I want art to be fun and inspirational, not a constantly mundane, commissioned job.)
I'm going for a Communications major, and a writing minor. (Not that you need a degree to be a writer. Just look at Twilight. >;D Naw, I'm just kidding. Writing's good, but the plot....in MY personal opinion, Ehhhh. Ew. My Vampires are Dracula-style. They're evil, they burn in light, and they don't sparkle like pansy-butt, fairy vegetarians.)
I'm hoping to get into a non-profit organization that helps stop human trafficking. Did you know it goes on all around you? Not just in third world countries. A girl in my state was sold to a drug dealer by her parents for free drugs. (Lovely people that they were.... the other inmates aren't going to treat them kindly. Even criminals have some standards, especially when it comes to children.) Some of the most popular places for human trafficking are at big events like Art Prize or the Superbowl. Keep a sharp eye out.
My favorite word is 'mer', as my poor friends and family already know. It's like my trademark, kinda, and it means nothing yet anything, depending on the context, the emoticon next to it, or the tone of voice I use when I say it. I have one friend who calls me the "Mer Queen" and absolutely hates it when I say mer. My mer is contagious, and I have friends both near and far that now use it. Some of them (including one or two of her relatives) use it to annoy the friend who calls me the "Mer Queen."
I've found out I'm too much of a realist for counseling, so there's that. I don't feel people's love, even my mother's, but I am empathetic to their pain and feelings, or pain in general. I do love my friends, but I don't feel it. Despite not being able to feel or give no love, I'm not depressed at all. I don't mind; I'm content. It sort of protects me. I fear that the more I love, the more it'll hurt when something bad happens.
Also, on a related note that could be a cause, according to my parents, I was traumatized by my principal when I was a kid. I do remember what he did, but I don't remember how I felt about it. I only remember the joy I felt when my parents announced that I was to be home-schooled.
(I have a video-graphic memory. Because of my Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (Google it), I can remember events in detail like a movie-scene even before I was three, so not remember the turning point in my life is surprising.) I buried it so far down I can't remember.
They say MDD comes from a traumatic event in your life. Guess that's mine. No biggie, I'm just going to become the best, most successful person I can be to prove everything he said of me wrong. I'm going to write my novel, and send a signed copy of it with a letter to him in the mail. >;D
I'm starting Project: Bring Hope, cuz it's not exactly a world of peace out there. Friends and family are falling to pieces, and I want to uplift them and anyone else who's lonely and/or in pain. Yeah, one little me can't change the whole world, but if I so much as help or inspire one person on this spinning dot in the universe, I've done my part. That person, regardless of whether I know them or not, is worth the world to me. I'd take a bullet for them. (You probably don't understand the seriousness of that statement. This isn't a run-of-the-mill claim; I've thought about this alot. This is what my life stands for, lives for, is for. To protect.)
My name has two meanings. Seaport, and shield. I bring people into my port, and then I protect them. (Touch the innocents, and you dieeee. I have swords; I mean it.)
Oh, by the way, I love God. (Jesus, my bro, y'know?) Yeah, He's kinda why I'm still alive right now. No, I'm not a fairy-tale crazed, bible-thumping, religious nut. But if I was, I know you'd all still love meh. ;D
That's life in a nutshell right now. Y'all have a good-mer day, stay in school, be respectful to your parents, don't do drugs, don't smoke (It's slow suicide), don't get wasted, protect the innocent, call out bullies, and value all life (including your own).
YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT. Don't make me beat it into your head, foo'.
So, in the famous words of Youtube Star, Phillip Defranco: "I love yo faces!"
Have a good night/day. :3
Listening to: Silence XD
Reading: This screen >.>
Watching: THE SCREEN!!!
Playing: <.< Would this be considered a game?
Drinking: Spit -_-